I was at a retreat a few weeks ago, and my teacher was talking about bringing more peace and happiness into our loves.  Of course, he talked about things like daily meditation, eating in a vegetarian/organic way, and exercise along the lines of yoga or tai chi.

But he had two suggestions that at first seemed so mundane that I almost ignored them.

The first was to take an afternoon nap.  Someone immediately raised her hand (not me) and said, “But I’m at work all day.”  He said, “Take it when you get home from work.”

The other suggestion – directly geared toward people who are out in the working world all day – was to take a shower and change out of work clothes immediately on getting home after work.

The purpose of the shower is to cleanse the aura of all the vibrations of other people and environments picked up during the day.  He said the shower should be warm or cool, not hot.  No soap should be used, just let the water pour over you.

I decided that these two suggestions would be my takeaway techniques from the retreat.

For the past three weeks, I’ve come home from work, taken a shower, put on fresh clothes and lay down on the bed for anywhere from 20 – 45 minutes.  Sometimes I’ve fallen asleep.  Other times, it was just resting and drifting.

All I can tell you is that it’s made a huge difference in being able to let go of my work stress.  Back in the day when I had kids at home, I don’t think the nap part of this technique would have been possible to put into action.  But it fits perfectly into my lifestyle right now.  I get up feeling refreshed, like I can start anew.

I’ve always believed that every day is a new beginning.  Now I feel like every evening is a new beginning, too.

Contentment (or santosha) is on the “To-Do” list in classic yoga, and part of the path to happiness. My teacher explained that on the physical level, contentment is being able to sit still. I can do that – at least in a chair or for a little while on a meditation cushion. The whole practice of hatha yoga – the stretching and twisting you do in a yoga class – is really about being able to sit still in a meditation pose.

It’s the verbal aspect of contentment that I am having a problem with right now. According to my teacher, verbal contentment is not complaining. It is astonishing how much a part of our cultural conversation complaining is. It’s not just used to vent anger at a specific situation. It’s used to build rapport – to bond with others over common aggravations of everyday circumstances. It’s part of humor. And it’s that sub verbal murmuring we do as we read an email with another task from the boss or from another net newbie forwarding the “Bill Gates will pay you for reading this” email.

The only way to tell exactly how much complaining you’re doing is to have a ‘complaint fast.’ It’s like fasting from food, only it’s spending 24 hours not complaining. Yikes! I try over and over again to be a happy camper, and then something sets me off. The next thing I know I’m talking back to a commercial on TV or agreeing with somebody at work about how bad the weather is (it’s spring so we’re in the rain complaint zone, having completed the “oh, no, it’s snow” winter rants).

Anyway, I’m done complaining about my complaining. Remember be aware not only of what you’re doing, but of what you’re saying. Verbal contentment is a powerful practice.

Here’s a poem from Zen Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh that is a type of contentment meditation practice:

Breathing in, I calm my body.
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment
I know this is a wonderful moment.

Life is the teacher. Your life teaches you. Pay attention.

Don’t just be a participant in your life. Be the observer. Watch what’s happening emotionally at various points throughout the day. Are you happy right now? What exactly are you feeling? Emotions are not the real ‘you.’ Emotions ebb and flow. Happy/Sad, Excited/Bored, Loving/Crabby.

Important tool: Keep a journal. Not the writing a book type of journal. A journal to remind you of where you are at emotionally, right now, today. After a while, go back and reflect on what you have written.

As a long time journaller, I’ll tell you some embarrassing secrets. Every year, I write all about my resolutions to lose weight and de-clutter my house. When you go back in your journals twenty or thirty years and see the same darn resolves, you are face to face with some interesting karma. The other secret is, very often the things I am so emotional about that I have to write pages and pages to calm down, a few months later, I have no emotional attachment to that situation at all. This insight has helped me to regain emotional balance sooner than later.

I will continually encourage you to journal and write more about that. In the meantime, take a notebook (or a word.doc if you must) and just jot down a few things about today:

Your strongest emotion today.

The most unusual occurance of the day.

What you are most grateful for.

Something you learned or something you accomplished.

Again, I emphasize jotting, not literary writing (unless that gives you great pleasure).

Observe, reflect, remember.

You embody the very essence of creativity. This is a primary concept.

What you are today is a result of your creativity from the past.

What you will be tomorrow is what you are creating today.

You can absolutely use your creative power to change your future. We create with what we think, what we say, and where we put our energy in our lives.

This blog is about using your life, the environment, relationships, and events for spiritual growth and greater self-awareness. It’s about observation of what you have created so far and how you can totally create something different in the future by understanding symbols and softening and possibly neutralizing your karma.